More to come later, but this should hold you over until then. I've forgotten about some of these...laughing down memory lane. Enjoy!
12/21/10 Comemeetlola, Punkymonkey, cowgirlscorral, bootcut- Some of my personal favorite email addresses that I read on resumes that really translate to: mustbeadatinghotline, unprofessionalteenangst, donthireme, and LeviOrWranglers.
12/13/10 Landed in Houston and passed a courtesy desk and overheard the lady on the phone say a man had hurt himself in the bathroom.....hmmm
12/13/10 The rate at which the man across the aisle is chewing his food is alarming. I know it's rude to stare, but I can't look away! Take a breather!
12/13/10 As I'm listening to all the different announcements on the PA system, one in particular stands out to me: (...in an automated voice...) "may I have your attention, please?" what if we said no? Then what would you do? Can you really have our attention if you're not a real person?
12/13/10 Loud cell phone talkers-3, old man in melon polo, navy and white cargo shorts, socks, and yes, you guessed it, sandals- 1, overly anxious people already assuming their boarding position in line pacing back and forth- 6.
12/13/10 Staring at a handicap sign that says "Area of Rescue Assistance".........what kind of rescue are we talking here?
12/6/10 Random guy walked into our office today admiring our coffee table. "WOW! Awesome coffee table. Where'd you get it?" (Ok....if you like sitting in your lush garden sipping mint juleps. It obviously doesn't go with our space, or the pelican, so I won't say anything if you take it) "Um I'm not sure, sir. Our CEO's wife decorated the space." "Oh, ok. If you ask, I'll come back tomorrow." ......................"uh. Ok?"
12/4/10 I think it's safe to say you were scarred for life when there's an item on the grocery list that makes you queasy to just pick it up off the shelf. Applesauce. We've had a hate/hate relationship since kindergarten.
11/30/10 Ummmmm, so can I just say that just because it's the locker room at the gym that doesn't mean I want to see everything? You're still in public ....kind of.
10/26/10 Morning elevator moment #236: I caught a whiff of someone's fragrance on the ride up to the sky this morning and had the strange urge to yell "PEEEEEAnuts! GEEETTTT your peaNUTS! .......COOooold BEEERR! ICED cold BEEEERRR!" Cotton candy smells and tastes great....at a circus. I envisioned a Barnum & Bailey's production greeting me as I got off the elevator. Not sure whether she was going for the nostalgia or the "sweet as candy" vibe, but I'm thinking she should stay away from her teeny-bopper's body splash/perfume. Also, I think I may have encountered a very confused uh....pimp and/or leprechaun. Allow me to explain. So I was in the walkway from the garage to the building coming back from lunch. As I pass through the first set of doors, I notice this short, skinny fellow, decked out in a very monochromatic ensemble, but instead of green it was dark charcoal gray. Let's start from the top, shall we? Fedora hat with feather, cocked to one side. Suit coat, dress shirt, and tie- all perfectly fastened. Knickers.....*tilt head to the side here and double take...question mark.* ......Man-pris? Tall dress socks and snazzy dress shoes. Walk complete with the pimp swagger. Waves through the glass at the bank employees who had just helped him. He was one happy little bugger too......*depositing pot-o-gold? Or, last night's corner profits?* So confused!
10/22/10 How come people still do courtroom sketches? Is there really a demand for that? It's 2010; we have digital cameras! Wouldn't that be much more accurate at capturing the essence of someone on the stand? What do they do with these sketches, other than submit them to the media for a story? Do judges have these stashed in their chambers? By the way, what if everyone's offices were called chambers? It seems so secretive...like their bookcases of many leather bound books are actually a revolving wall that leads to an even more secret chamber-The Secret Lair. Oh, look, it's Dr. Evil.
10/21/10 I had to LOL at the nail salon today. I got several "oh, you so prit-d" s and "prit-d eyes and yo eye brow!" ...was waiting for the "you wan me wack yo eyebrow? Only sick dolla mo! Tammy do fo you" but they didn't ask. Ready for Anjelah Johnson!
10/18/10 Potty Ponderings- I've come up with a simple 1 step, fool-proof plan for recovering our economy- impose a tax on the word "like". Not only would we turn the recession around in a day, but we'd also sound as if we actually knew what we were talking about. Wam, bam, thank you ma'am! Taryn for governor.
10/15/10 You ever notice how people have a distinct walk?
10/15/10 Morning elevator moment #72: I almost blurted out "girl, the back of your head is ridiculous!" in the elevator this morning to the same chick who backed it up too close last time. Oooh, happy day! It's Friday!
10/13/10 It's too bad you can't call for elevators like you reserve a table at a restaurant... "Yes, elevator for one, please?
10/7/10 Wondering if my fragrance of choice, Escada Magnetism, really has magnetic capabilities. Everyone stood unusually close to me in the full but not packed/still enough room to evenly disperse yourself elevators today. Nuh uh, girlfriend! This is not the club...please back that thang up elsewhere!
10/6/10 I wonder if the manufacturers of automatic flushing toilets also started the "wrap up your thank you speech" music at award shows. The toilets at work flush mid-business. ...but wait! I wasn't finished!!
9/21/10 Considering pulling a Jim vs. Dwight stunt at work with Numnut. Stapler in jello mold and tic-tac version of Pavlov's dogs theory come to mind....but, I will restrain.
9/18/10 Someone is wearing too much Abercrombie at the football game.......sweaty teen angst
9/16/10 Well good day you too, kind sir who properly signaled your blinker to let me know you needed over pretty quick and then followed with an awesome and much appreciated courtesy wave PLUS the ASL hand sign for "I love you"! You rock, dude! Why can't all Houston drivers be that nice?
9/15/10 Wow, interesting fellow on an elliptical at the gym....dude gets on the one next to me and is very um, Richard Simmons...only longer hair, oversized tshirt and tight SHORT black shorts, tall socks and velcro shoes....he's certainly sweatin' but I don't think it's to the oldies! So maybe he really isn't anything like Richard Simmons except for the daisy duke hot pants. Tremendous!
9/15/10
1) I'm a certified fire warden for high rise buildings in the city of Houston for the next 5 years...cross THAT off my list. Wah woo wee woo. Fire or smoke? 911, grab purse, kick off shoes, trek down 44 flights of stairs and evacuate building if necessary. Splendid. (Ok, it was a little more involved, but that seemed to be a recurring point)
2) Big Boss Man and all execs are in our Houston office now. The first time the president came in to work, I heard through the grapevine that calling him sir is a no no...he hates it. Perfect, that won't be a problem to remember, right? Eh, WRONG! a) it's only out of respect, b) it's a Southern thing, and c) Mom and Dad beat that into us from the day we understand manners. Yesterday, he asked me something and I said "Yes, sir" to Big Boss Man and he replies in a creepy voice "Don't call me sir"...So then I have the awkward-almost-yes-sir again but it came out more of a "yesssokay". I have a feeling I will be a repeat offender on his list, but I can't help it!!! Yes, man? Sure, dog? Yo, dude? What's up doc?
3) CFO's daughter was a judge for Project Runway...AWESOME!
4) There are some people in this world- let's just say their elevator doesn't quite go all the way, well....anywhere. One or two mess up's every now and then, an occasional brain fart, or if you missed the detail in the meeting about something...okay, understandable. It happens to all of us. But every single day something goes wrong or she never knows what's going on even after it's been communicated several times in several different ways. I just don't get it. Literally boggles my mind how clueless this person is! I think I may have to start responding to her questions, mug in hand- "yeeeeeeah, did ya get the memo? We're putting cover pages on all of our TPS Reports. MmmmmK?" I think this girl might be the source and inspiration of every blonde joke (No offense to all of my blonde friends and family members! I've found the person you may blame though.) I just don't get it!
5) I love listening to the radio talk shows on the way into work in the mornings, they have been hilarious lately. It makes me wonder what the people sitting next to me at lights are thinking, especially since they have that traffic-induced look of fury on their faces. "What You Doin' @ The Courthouse" is among one of my favorite segments. They interview people standing outside the courthouse downtown which equals a whole new class of gold on the People Watchers Association's scale. Just awesome! "What had happened was...." Contemplating hiring a body guard to go with me and kick back for a few hours to watch and listen.
6) I feel like I should rig the front doors into a game or something- The Push/Pull Debate. (To recap: To walk into our office, you pull. To exit, you push. But the handles throw everyone off.) I think that for every time someone maneuvers the doors correctly you get a point. Once you reach 10 points, lights, bells and whistles should go off, and confetti and balloons will fall from above. *Note to self: Schedule another meeting with IT and HR to discuss options*
8/12/10 99% sure...no, 100% sure that the lady in front of us at church had the J.Lo procedure done because there's no way her hind end was sculpted and lifted that much in the gym compared to other proportions. Like, WOAH!
8/26/10 If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to pull instead of push the big glass front doors at work, I'd be rich! Part of me wants to blurt out “PUSH!” when someone approaches it...but it's quite amusing to see the confused look on their faces!
8/24/10 According to my dreams last night, the forecast for the week ahead will be lows in the 20s and highs reaching 110....my subconscious must be making a statement (aside from my insanity...that statement we all already know is true)
8/15/10 Ready to meet some more people at work! We get 8 more coming in the morning...one of which I hear is an interesting fellow (with piano neck ties)...stories I'm sure will follow shortly :) ….8:05am...one of my characters has just arrived. We'll call him Joey for future stories. (His name has now been changed to Shifty Eyes.)
8/12/10 Random thoughts and observations from first week at the office-
1. I was not aware that the sound of a whistle from the traffic cop in the street could be heard loud and clear all the way up on the 44th floor! Initially thought maybe there were flying cars or something I was unaware of, but then I realized where it was coming from and he was clearly saying "Let's go, let's go, LET'S GO!! YOOOU, exiting the garage, proceed across the 3 lanes of traffic I have magically stopped with the palm of my hand, MOVE IT!!!!
2. Once our office is all set up for business and everyone has relocated, we will have a house blend of people from El Paso, Dallas, and new hires from Houston that I'm sure will make for an adventure. I can't wait to find out who all of my interesting characters are.
3. Elevators should definitely NOT be equal opportunity- and by this I mean that if you have issues with body odor and/or detecting one's own body odor and/or you smoke, you should have your own elevator- especially for the long rides to the top, or(!) elevators should be equipped like planes with oxygen masks that drop down from an overhead compartment. In the event there is a change in cabin odor, yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it so it covers your mouth and nose. Breath normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others. There is one exit to the front of the elevator *insert flight attendant directional point here*. Please exit the elevator in a calm and orderly fashion. If you are not able to exit on an intermediate floor, two buttons may be found on the panel for Air Freshener (AF) and Deodorant (D). This overview should be given while you are waiting to board an elevator on the main floor and include other commonly known elevator issues.
4. If I had issues operating the Flavia outer space coffee machine, I imagine others will...need to coordinate a meeting with IT and HR (have HR approve the installation of a hidden camera. Reason: entertainment...I mean, boosting employee morale)
5. There is a mountain of empty boxes from all of the office supplies from Staples that were delivered and have yet to be picked up by the trash service. Every time I walk by, the six year old in me wants to make this into the world's greatest fort.
8/2/10 Hair sample drug test today for work...nice and bald. KIDDING!
8/2/10/ Spilled my glass of chocolate milk this morning and the glass didn't break! I'll sacrifice my milk for keeping more broken glass off my record!
8/1/10
"Want to be the next host of SNL?!"
Only my life's dream!!
"Well, u can't."
I knew this was too good to be true.
"But, you can hang out backstage with your favorite cast and crew!"
Seriously? That's a good close second!
"Anytime, by visiting nbc.com."
Stupid strategically placed dramatic pauses!!! Damn you, Lorne Michaels and NBC ad execs for creating a clever promo that indeed had me hoping for a sec that I could actually host SNL! Oh, and for playing with my emotions, feel free to send me tickets to a show so I can hear the following words in person: "LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!"
(dramatization)
7/11/10 Wonder if the maker of those automatic hand dryers meant to make the heat waves look like bacon on the how-to diagram...
7/9/10 My apologies to the 100 people at Buc-Ee's on I-10 trying to get to the bathroom. I read the clever billboard 77 miles back that said I could hold it. Well you know what? They lied! And forgot to mention you'd have to play musical cars in the parking lot and do a half marathon to the other side of the "convenient store" just to get to the bathroom. Barely made it. I'll listen to my bladder next time.
7/5/10 Ha! Dude bikes across the country eating nothing but pizza every 3 hours and loses weight. He wants to change people’s opinion about pizza being junk food. "All about portion control and exercise" Earth to biker dude! You lost weight because you were on a bike tour. Across THE COUNTRY!
7/3/10 I always knew there was something special about Moo, but I never could quite put my finger on it. Who knew Moo knows Japanese? The other day Dad said "Go get your ball" while he was eating and it sounded like "Konichiwa" to Mom and I. I just told Moo "konichiwa" and he brought me his ball. How do you say "Good Boy" in Japanese? :)
6/18/10 Just had a fight with the copier...I won. Million dollar idea: Paper Jam Fixer Button. BANK! The button itself will be installed on printer/copiers world-wide with a holy glow and angels will sing when you press it. For those that absolutely hate paper jams and/or your copier, you can upgrade from holy glow and singing angels, to Chuck Norris-Roundhouse Kick. Or if you prefer a cold one while fixing your paper jam, we can install The XX Button featuring The Most Interesting Man in the World. Last resort- Mission Impossible Button. Machine will self destruct in 10 seconds, evacuate the area. In the event of a power failure, good old fashioned beating via baseball bat will do.
8/2/10/ Spilled my glass of chocolate milk this morning and the glass didn't break! I'll sacrifice my milk for keeping more broken glass off my record!
8/1/10
"Want to be the next host of SNL?!"
Only my life's dream!!
"Well, u can't."
I knew this was too good to be true.
"But, you can hang out backstage with your favorite cast and crew!"
Seriously? That's a good close second!
"Anytime, by visiting nbc.com."
Stupid strategically placed dramatic pauses!!! Damn you, Lorne Michaels and NBC ad execs for creating a clever promo that indeed had me hoping for a sec that I could actually host SNL! Oh, and for playing with my emotions, feel free to send me tickets to a show so I can hear the following words in person: "LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!"
(dramatization)
7/11/10 Wonder if the maker of those automatic hand dryers meant to make the heat waves look like bacon on the how-to diagram...
7/9/10 My apologies to the 100 people at Buc-Ee's on I-10 trying to get to the bathroom. I read the clever billboard 77 miles back that said I could hold it. Well you know what? They lied! And forgot to mention you'd have to play musical cars in the parking lot and do a half marathon to the other side of the "convenient store" just to get to the bathroom. Barely made it. I'll listen to my bladder next time.
7/5/10 Ha! Dude bikes across the country eating nothing but pizza every 3 hours and loses weight. He wants to change people’s opinion about pizza being junk food. "All about portion control and exercise" Earth to biker dude! You lost weight because you were on a bike tour. Across THE COUNTRY!
7/3/10 I always knew there was something special about Moo, but I never could quite put my finger on it. Who knew Moo knows Japanese? The other day Dad said "Go get your ball" while he was eating and it sounded like "Konichiwa" to Mom and I. I just told Moo "konichiwa" and he brought me his ball. How do you say "Good Boy" in Japanese? :)
6/18/10 Just had a fight with the copier...I won. Million dollar idea: Paper Jam Fixer Button. BANK! The button itself will be installed on printer/copiers world-wide with a holy glow and angels will sing when you press it. For those that absolutely hate paper jams and/or your copier, you can upgrade from holy glow and singing angels, to Chuck Norris-Roundhouse Kick. Or if you prefer a cold one while fixing your paper jam, we can install The XX Button featuring The Most Interesting Man in the World. Last resort- Mission Impossible Button. Machine will self destruct in 10 seconds, evacuate the area. In the event of a power failure, good old fashioned beating via baseball bat will do.
Comments:
Mom: You are nuts.
Me: It's what happens when I'm bored and by myself. I find ways to entertain myself and the voices...You love me for it.
Elle: This is why we are best friends...all of us...me, you, and the other you’s.
Me: We agree 100%
6/9/10 And my wolf Pac...it grew by one. And then they introduced Nebraska I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added 5 more guys to my wolf Pac. 16 of us wolves, running around the Pacific (???) together.
6/4/10 New solution for BP oil spill clean-up: Chuck Norris.
5/30/10 AT&T commercial with the rolls of orange fabric draping the country looks like they covered the world in mac ’n cheese sauce.
5/4/10
Dear Discount Tire,
Our relationship is progressing faster than I expected. You take such good care of me as I wait in your cozy red chairs. But if you wish to see me with the frequency as of late, take down the poster of the "other" girl. I will leave behind a photo of me, as its presence on your wall by the Pathfinder All Terrains & Truck/SUV Wheels family portrait will bring you more success than she ever could.
Yours truly,
T
Comments:
Mama B: If she did stand-up comedy inside with her sorority sister they could dominate the tire market! Add some alcohol and the car market too!!
Mom: The thing is she is speaking the truth....Shane and I don't know of another person that has had as many nails and screws end up in their tires as T. Discount Tires from Houston to College Station has repaired her tires free of charge every time. (they have our business when we go to purchase new tires that's for sure) It is truly amazing. I think this was her 2nd one in a month and a half. That's a record.
Me: Sometimes I worry if I have an overactive imagination, but this makes it totally worth it. Next time I'm there, I will have to take Elle and propose this to the manager....CHA-CHIIIIING!! I should also start asking them for the nails, screws, and bolts that they pull out of my tires...start a collection, display them in a jar perhaps? Hang an old tire on the wall and add all the screws to it?
5/2/10
Dear girl one table over in the silence that is WCL,
If you are going to eat in the library, pick something that is not packaged in large loud plastic. Oh and if you could also chew with your mouth closed so I can't hear you smacking on your Kix cereal and trail mix that be great. It sounds like you're chomping on bones.
Mom: You are nuts.
Me: It's what happens when I'm bored and by myself. I find ways to entertain myself and the voices...You love me for it.
Elle: This is why we are best friends...all of us...me, you, and the other you’s.
Me: We agree 100%
6/9/10 And my wolf Pac...it grew by one. And then they introduced Nebraska I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added 5 more guys to my wolf Pac. 16 of us wolves, running around the Pacific (???) together.
6/4/10 New solution for BP oil spill clean-up: Chuck Norris.
5/30/10 AT&T commercial with the rolls of orange fabric draping the country looks like they covered the world in mac ’n cheese sauce.
5/4/10
Dear Discount Tire,
Our relationship is progressing faster than I expected. You take such good care of me as I wait in your cozy red chairs. But if you wish to see me with the frequency as of late, take down the poster of the "other" girl. I will leave behind a photo of me, as its presence on your wall by the Pathfinder All Terrains & Truck/SUV Wheels family portrait will bring you more success than she ever could.
Yours truly,
T
Comments:
Mama B: If she did stand-up comedy inside with her sorority sister they could dominate the tire market! Add some alcohol and the car market too!!
Mom: The thing is she is speaking the truth....Shane and I don't know of another person that has had as many nails and screws end up in their tires as T. Discount Tires from Houston to College Station has repaired her tires free of charge every time. (they have our business when we go to purchase new tires that's for sure) It is truly amazing. I think this was her 2nd one in a month and a half. That's a record.
Me: Sometimes I worry if I have an overactive imagination, but this makes it totally worth it. Next time I'm there, I will have to take Elle and propose this to the manager....CHA-CHIIIIING!! I should also start asking them for the nails, screws, and bolts that they pull out of my tires...start a collection, display them in a jar perhaps? Hang an old tire on the wall and add all the screws to it?
5/2/10
Dear girl one table over in the silence that is WCL,
If you are going to eat in the library, pick something that is not packaged in large loud plastic. Oh and if you could also chew with your mouth closed so I can't hear you smacking on your Kix cereal and trail mix that be great. It sounds like you're chomping on bones.
Yours truly,
Ag who's studying for her last college final
5/1/10 KFC’s Buckets for the Cure....end breast cancer, increase heart disease.
4/29/10 At a cafe in Bryan, and this adorable little boy is with his grandpa...Grandpa asked the boy "Who are cutie pies?" Boy replied "Girls are cutie pies!" Grandpa:"and what are you supposed to do when you meet a cutie pie?" boy: "not pick your nose and be sure to wipe the boogers off!"
4/26/10 I happened to catch a clip of a trial in which the defendant was asked to describe the accomplices, clothes, complexion, etc, and he answers "yeah, his hair was like Fresh Prince."
4/19/10 Speaker from TAMU health center at meeting tonight: "eating disorders signal disordered eating." Uh, yes, yes it does. Thank you for drawing that profound conclusion for me.
4/19/10 Random, yet very valid, though of the day: Should mullets be illegal? I'm on the fence with this one. Yes they are hideous, but as an avid people watcher, I think maybe mullet-wearers should be required to have a permit or something. If mullets were outlawed, people watchers all over the world would mourn the loss of such a golden gem.
4/14/10 No Captain America at the gym today, but got asked if I was the girl who had bulls and was from a cattle raising family? Uhhhhhh...?
4/12/10 has trouble remembering to not sing along with my iPod. Always forget I am the only one who can hear the music.
4/5/10 found a peso in the dryer lint trap.
3/31/10 I love this campus. walking to my test in Harrington and this guy plays Lady GaGa's Bad Romance on his stereo in the plaza and starts dancing to it, and then a group of "bystanders" start clapping to it and join in after the into and do the dance with him. Maybe I'll create my own job where I can orchestrate funny and awesome but random happenings to make people's day! Marcy Magoo Incorporated. I need to investigate this.
3/31/10 Just saw the Zoolander "the files are IN the computer?!" scene in real life, only with a door. Walking up to the library and this girl is pounding the handicap automatic door opening button so she doesn't have to actually open the door, but when it repeatedly doesn't work, she just stands there dumbfounded like "what do I do?" IT'S A DOOR! YOU PULL IT OPEN! She must read minds.
3/4/10 Things I wonder about when I'm lying wide awake in bed and no one else is up except the voices inside my head (5:44am)-
What is it about elevators and mass transit that renders any form of speech and eye contact absolutely awkward and inappropriate? Was there a sign back in the day that Otis posted in his elevators saying "Do not talk or look at anyone" and it was just passed on in stories from generation to generation? Also, why is it that when someone else gets on between floors and you're the only one on, do you find it necessary to move even when you're not blocking the doorway? Is it the whole invasion of your personal bubble? Man, I remember when I was little, we didn't buy bubbles often because I would spill the whole bottle shortly after opening it...every time. Where did the phrase "I hate to burst your bubble" come from? And "happy camper"? Who invented the s'more? There's a thesis in the Annex authored by Mallow. Have you met Ted?
2/5/10 Man, she's whiter than Carlton!!!!
2/1/10 Sprite and pepto...Breakfast of Champions!
2/22/10 Word vomit in my marketing class on the subject of Nike's brand power and Tiger Woods today. Professor:"Does anyone feel sorry for him? All that money down the drain?" Me:"FOURTEEEEEEEN WOMENNNN?!?" Insert crickets and outburst of laughter here. Happy Friday friends!
1/21/10 likes the short people handles they added on the buses.
1/20/10 I forgot this parking machine doesn’t give you cash for change…Level 1: completed. 18 gold coins!
12/10/09 Double Trouble: Adventures of Bonnie and Krissy Renee
I have to laugh at the dogs' unauthorized field trip today. I'm amazed Bonnie's fat butt can fit through one gnawed/destroyed board on the back gate. Though, I took a closer look and it's evident Krissy Renee got started on the chicken wire we originally rigged to patch a hole, and made it loose enough for Bonnie and was the first to escape. Bonnie carved away a little of the wood on the adjacent board too; you can see little tufts of hair. She must have heard me tell Mom I needed to give her a bath because when she poked her head back through the fence attempting to squeeze back in (but failed miserably), her face said "I'm sorry Mommy, but look how muddy I got!!!!!" I then followed the barking of neighborhood dogs through the tree line to find Krissy Renee. She apparently loves the frat daddies because she was posing in the sun in the Sigma Chi's yard. And while I was fetching Little Bit, Butthead got out again and went galavanting through the brush and mud behind the gate. So I finally get both of them in the yard and shut the gate, but to no avail, the second I turn my back to get more chicken wire out of the garage, they're off again! Bonnie went through the woods, and Krissy bee-lined to the frat house again, to the exact same spot, striking a pose. This time, I put Krissy inside, and Bonnie keeps her muddy distance with her tail tucked way under, avoiding all eye contact while I re-rig the chicken wire to the non-existent board. Krissy's in hiding, and one freezing cold shampoo/blow-dry fluff later, Bonnie is one happy puppy. Something tells me she was the ring leader and totally planned that!
5/1/10 KFC’s Buckets for the Cure....end breast cancer, increase heart disease.
4/29/10 At a cafe in Bryan, and this adorable little boy is with his grandpa...Grandpa asked the boy "Who are cutie pies?" Boy replied "Girls are cutie pies!" Grandpa:"and what are you supposed to do when you meet a cutie pie?" boy: "not pick your nose and be sure to wipe the boogers off!"
4/26/10 I happened to catch a clip of a trial in which the defendant was asked to describe the accomplices, clothes, complexion, etc, and he answers "yeah, his hair was like Fresh Prince."
4/19/10 Speaker from TAMU health center at meeting tonight: "eating disorders signal disordered eating." Uh, yes, yes it does. Thank you for drawing that profound conclusion for me.
4/19/10 Random, yet very valid, though of the day: Should mullets be illegal? I'm on the fence with this one. Yes they are hideous, but as an avid people watcher, I think maybe mullet-wearers should be required to have a permit or something. If mullets were outlawed, people watchers all over the world would mourn the loss of such a golden gem.
4/14/10 No Captain America at the gym today, but got asked if I was the girl who had bulls and was from a cattle raising family? Uhhhhhh...?
4/12/10 has trouble remembering to not sing along with my iPod. Always forget I am the only one who can hear the music.
4/5/10 found a peso in the dryer lint trap.
3/31/10 I love this campus. walking to my test in Harrington and this guy plays Lady GaGa's Bad Romance on his stereo in the plaza and starts dancing to it, and then a group of "bystanders" start clapping to it and join in after the into and do the dance with him. Maybe I'll create my own job where I can orchestrate funny and awesome but random happenings to make people's day! Marcy Magoo Incorporated. I need to investigate this.
3/31/10 Just saw the Zoolander "the files are IN the computer?!" scene in real life, only with a door. Walking up to the library and this girl is pounding the handicap automatic door opening button so she doesn't have to actually open the door, but when it repeatedly doesn't work, she just stands there dumbfounded like "what do I do?" IT'S A DOOR! YOU PULL IT OPEN! She must read minds.
3/4/10 Things I wonder about when I'm lying wide awake in bed and no one else is up except the voices inside my head (5:44am)-
What is it about elevators and mass transit that renders any form of speech and eye contact absolutely awkward and inappropriate? Was there a sign back in the day that Otis posted in his elevators saying "Do not talk or look at anyone" and it was just passed on in stories from generation to generation? Also, why is it that when someone else gets on between floors and you're the only one on, do you find it necessary to move even when you're not blocking the doorway? Is it the whole invasion of your personal bubble? Man, I remember when I was little, we didn't buy bubbles often because I would spill the whole bottle shortly after opening it...every time. Where did the phrase "I hate to burst your bubble" come from? And "happy camper"? Who invented the s'more? There's a thesis in the Annex authored by Mallow. Have you met Ted?
2/5/10 Man, she's whiter than Carlton!!!!
2/1/10 Sprite and pepto...Breakfast of Champions!
2/22/10 Word vomit in my marketing class on the subject of Nike's brand power and Tiger Woods today. Professor:"Does anyone feel sorry for him? All that money down the drain?" Me:"FOURTEEEEEEEN WOMENNNN?!?" Insert crickets and outburst of laughter here. Happy Friday friends!
1/21/10 likes the short people handles they added on the buses.
1/20/10 I forgot this parking machine doesn’t give you cash for change…Level 1: completed. 18 gold coins!
12/10/09 Double Trouble: Adventures of Bonnie and Krissy Renee
I have to laugh at the dogs' unauthorized field trip today. I'm amazed Bonnie's fat butt can fit through one gnawed/destroyed board on the back gate. Though, I took a closer look and it's evident Krissy Renee got started on the chicken wire we originally rigged to patch a hole, and made it loose enough for Bonnie and was the first to escape. Bonnie carved away a little of the wood on the adjacent board too; you can see little tufts of hair. She must have heard me tell Mom I needed to give her a bath because when she poked her head back through the fence attempting to squeeze back in (but failed miserably), her face said "I'm sorry Mommy, but look how muddy I got!!!!!" I then followed the barking of neighborhood dogs through the tree line to find Krissy Renee. She apparently loves the frat daddies because she was posing in the sun in the Sigma Chi's yard. And while I was fetching Little Bit, Butthead got out again and went galavanting through the brush and mud behind the gate. So I finally get both of them in the yard and shut the gate, but to no avail, the second I turn my back to get more chicken wire out of the garage, they're off again! Bonnie went through the woods, and Krissy bee-lined to the frat house again, to the exact same spot, striking a pose. This time, I put Krissy inside, and Bonnie keeps her muddy distance with her tail tucked way under, avoiding all eye contact while I re-rig the chicken wire to the non-existent board. Krissy's in hiding, and one freezing cold shampoo/blow-dry fluff later, Bonnie is one happy puppy. Something tells me she was the ring leader and totally planned that!
 |
| Krissy Renee and Bonnie Doodle |