Saturday, March 26, 2011

Professional for Hire

A self proclaimed professional, that is.


As a recent college graduate, I understand the power of a good resume. In fact, part of my job is to screen hundreds of resumes. You want to show yourself in the best possible light, right? You have less than 10 seconds to stand out from the 4 foot stack that is already leaning its way into the recycle bin. No pressure. So, you put your thinking cap on of how to make yourself sound better, expand your experience, and provide references of those who will sing your praises. And of course, you click the ever-reliable-spell-check...no red squiggles! (Side note- Most people print out a paper copy of your resume. Although those red and green squiggles don't show up on paper, they DO show up on my screen. Yes, even after you just hit "ignore" to make them go away on your computer. Don't forget to pass it on to a mentor or peer to have them proof read.) Your resume is so polished you can see your professional reflection. So you send it in for job openings and it lands in the lap of a screener (yours truly) and/or a hiring manager. We're ooh'ing and ah'ing over your expert credentials. You match all the keywords on our checklist. You also seem very professional (BONUS)! How may we reach you? *cue screeching breaks* Looks like you forgot to think about one seemingly trivial aspect of your resume- your email address.

This may be due in part to the fact that us Gen Y'ers in the early dawns of instant messaging and social media were expressing our  pre-teen angst and "individuality" by creating what we thought were clever and catchy screen names and Myspace pages. I know how I was at 11 and 12 years old, and professional is NOT a word I would choose to describe anything about me or any of my peers. What made a good screen name/email address to teeny bopper, you ask? Think of whatever sport you played, your favorite color, number, animal, or hobby. Next, combine about 2-3 of those with maybe where you're from and whether your a sexy chick/gal/princess/angel or a dude...and the year you were born or will graduate from high school. Lacking creativity? Just make it your nickname and alternate every single letter between upper and lower case.

Now that you have a cool screen name, you end up using the same one all the way through high school and college. You email your prof with a question about the project due at the end of the week, but wait, you forget to sign your name. The next day in class, as your professor is wrapping up the lesson, he opens the floor for questions and then reads aloud the email from a student who asked about said project, but isn't sure which student goes by BlueBoy22. (You're my boy, Blue!)

That being said, as a college student, you're preparing to enter the professional work world. It's time to change that email address you created 10 years ago to something a little more, well, professional.

As I go through resumes, I keep a running list of the email addresses that stand out and how some of them are translated in my head. Here are some of my favorites:

  • ComeMeetLola (MustBeADatingHotline....meet you where, the corner? A dark alley?)
  • PunkyMonkey (UnprofessionalTeenAngst)
  • Acowgirlscorral (DontHireMe)
  • jimenycricket (AlwaysLetYourConscienceBeYourGuide)
  • bootcut47 (LevisOrWranglers)
  • flowerring (helovesme.helovesmenot.)
  • fishintexas (git-r-done)
  • texasbeautygal (Ur_so_vain)
  • skyyfoxx (vodkalover)
  • yaya22_satx (nono22_satx)
  • goldgrinnin02 (FLAVA_FLAV_YEAH_BOY)
  • antbed (hopeIdontStepInIt)
  • wa2busi (thenYbother)
  • dandelion_wishes89 (picks-flowers-in-outfield-in-the-middle-of-the-game)
  • paintponylover (Dear_Santa- Iwantaponyforchristmas)
  • plum.wine.bunny (????)
  • PapiJavi69 (GrossWannaBePimp)
  • grgwsh (IWouldLikeToBuyAVowel)
  • mr.bigbossbrown (NeedsASliceOfHumblePie)
  • kissmegoodbye63 (neversaidhello)

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