Thought of Randomosity #4

Why doesn't Subway put out napkins for its patrons? I know they put one or two in the bag, but what if I'm dining in? Or, God forbid, just want some more napkins? Is this some subliminal message that I'm not allowed to make a mess? What happens if when I make a mess? I already used the ones you gave me ... Do I just leave the crumbs on the table for the next person? That's kinda gross. And I've never seen an employee wipe down tables after people leave. (Ew.) I don't want to interrupt someone else in line just for napkins. Why, Subway, can't you just put some napkins on the drink counter? I know I'm not dining on a $50 sandwich at The Ritz, but please don't make me feel like I'm a cave woman. Pretty please?


P.T.
I love Subway, but I don't want to smell like one all day. Can we do something about that, too? Sorry for being needy today, but it's the little things that count. Thanks!


P.T.T
Pretty please ... [head tilt] ... Is the pretty necessary? I mean, if you were asking someone for a favor, would you really want to offer an ugly please? I know, it's probably one of those sayings that just has a nice ring to it, but come on. That'd be kind of funny though, if there were varying beauty levels of pleases.

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"Here's Your Sign"

I can't tell you how many times at work I hear people say, "well how do you turn it on?" Okay, are you FOR REAL? I think by now, in our technologically consumed world (whether you're a techie or not) it is safe to assume a universally accepted symbol for the power button has been established. Google time, shall we?

Ah, yes. Yes, indeed! Eureka!! If you can locate this little symbol, you can usually find the power source.

Would you look at that?!

Now, I'll admit ... some devices can be tricky, but a little trial and error won't hurt, folks. Harness your inner 4 year old ... "What's this button do?" Go ahead and press it! Even us kiddos that grew up with computers, cell phones, and game consoles a-plenty can get thrown for a loop. Enter one eve when yours truly was dog sitting for a coworker. Keep in mind, I've grown up with PCs, and all she had was one of those fancy new Mac desktops that has everything built into the monitor. She usually kept it on, and would just go into sleep mode if you walk away for a bit. But one day, it powered down completely. Well, I was looking for that magical power symbol but it was nowhere to be found. I even tried feeling around and glancing at the back of the monitor, but no luck. I couldn't get a good enough view. I was kind of embarrassed by myself that I couldn't figure out how to turn on this stinkin' computer. It CAN'T be this difficult. Soooo, after much contemplation, I pulled out my phone and Googled it. I figured if I couldn't figure it out, there had to be more people out there in the same boat, but I wasn't about to ask my coworker how to do it! Seriously? Hey, Google! Where is the power button on a Mac desktop? Oh. My. Gosh. 

Why thank you starcelaeno! This made me feel much better! 

So I turned that bad boy around, and there it was! I must have slid my hand back there a dozen times, and definitely didn't feel anything! Glad to know I wasn't crazy after all ... I just had one of those pretty moments. And yes, it did have the power symbol! In the words of Bill Engvall, "here's your sign!"

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Coco Want a Cracker?

I've never owned a bird as a pet, but am I the only one who thinks it's odd to put up a lost sign for a parrot? I mean, I guess Texas isn't swarming with wild parrots, so I could imagine a parrot would stick out like a sore thumb compared to all the other gross birds flying around and tagging our cars ... but how exactly does one find a lost parrot? Furthermore ... and I apologize for the next question because it's probably stupid, but again, I've never had a pet bird - will it answer if I start yelling its name? Can I play Marco Polo Coco with it? Will it just be taking a leisurely stroll down the boulevard? I don't have a bird cage, will a cardboard box suffice as long as I poke holes in it? Can you put a leash on a bird? Is that even humane? Pretty sure it's not.

Oh by the way, I was at Kroger last night and there was a dude walking out while I was walking in, talking and laughing out loud while pushing his cart of goodies to his car. I thought maybe he was on the phone using his bluetooth because he had both hands on the cart, but I think Coco was on his shoulder talking back to him! I'm confused. Either Coco is still lost and just landed on the lucky shopper's shoulder as he was walking to his car, or Coco's owner is CooCoo and takes his bird to the grocery store with him. If that's the case, I'm a little concerned about Kroger's policies on bringing pets into the store ... unless Coco is a seeing eye bird (or whatever service birds are used to help people with). Then I guess it'd be okay because its perfectly legal. And I guess that's why Coco's owner put up a lost sign ... and why the reward was $1000. Mystery solved. I think.

P.T. Is that why pirates with eye patches always have parrots on their shoulders?

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