Viva Las Vegas!

Guess what! My parents surprised me with a trip to Las Vegas for my birthday!

Guess what else! This means people watching GALORE! Not to mention all the other fun that Vegas offers! Since I can't afford to bring you all back a souvenir, I promise I'll get y'all some awesome pics and stories of our adventures - starting with the airport.

Since you may have been resting from your Royal Wedding festivities / still blown away by those Holy Brows, I'll recap the Vegas Surprise.

My cute Mamasita sent me this slideshow when I was at work.

So of course I immediately accepted the offer in hopes that we were taking a little vacay! The parentals wouldn't tell me anything else and said I had to wait to find out. When we got home from dinner, I could hear them plotting again while I refreshed the water to all my birthday flowers. Then the lights went out and the singing began while I anxiously awaited to blow out the 23 candles on my cake!

Next came the birthday card - pretty long, huh?

Look what was at the bottom.

It says, "Hint is on the Cake." This is when Dad starts telling Mom that now I'm not going to be able to see it and they should have had me go upstairs to look over the banister while they hold the cake down below. 

I wasn't sure what "it" he was talking about, but I immediately jumped up on the kitchen chair and saw this:

Cake says, "Viva Las Vegas" in the sprinkles!

"REALLY?! VEGAS?! REALLY?!"

If you couldn't tell by the last picture, I'm pretty excited about going to Vegas! Crossing my fingers I win something! But like they say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." I'm sure my money will follow suit (pun intended). 

Check back  for Vegas updates. I'm currently taking bets for how security will go.

Your options:

A. Body Scan

B. Groped and felt up  Pat down

C. Both A and B

D. Choice C has occurred and I start giggling nervously and TSA believes this behavior to be suspicious, thus pulling me aside to question me in a dark room with one lamp on the table, while the FBI watches on the other side of the "mirror".

What will it be? 

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Honks: Decoded

I had an epiphany the other day during my commute to work amongst my fellow oh-so-pleasant Houston motorists. Every honk has a meaning. Some are very direct and to the point with universal meanings, others have a loose translation that is highly dependent on the situation. Have you ever been stuck behind someone who could move up juuuust a smidge so you can proceed with your right-on-red or your U-turn? I have, and that's why I decided to be polite to the person behind me, who actually had their blinker on, so they could inch by me into the turn lane. But as I inched forward, their blinker quickly disappeared from my rear-view mirror and reappeared into my side-view mirror as half of their car hugged my bumper, and the other half occupied the turn lane. But short of love tapping the person in front of me, I couldn't move up any further. Did you know this crazy person had the nerve to honk at me?! "Hey! Move up!" ... So of course I honked back ... "Dude! What do you think I've been doing for the past ten seconds? Hellooooo, can't you see I'm practically touching the car in front of me? Pipe down back there! Rude." (Yep, my one honk said all that.) This of course made me think of all the different things a honk can say. I took the liberty of interpreting some common honks for you, and for my visual learners I've included a few pictures and a short clip. Let's begin.

Meep*

Mornin’!

Meep Meep

Hey, neighbor! Look, I’m waving at you. 

Like Barbie and Teresa.

Meep*

Go ahead. 

Meep*

Still here. 

Meep Meep

That's what Beaker said.

Meepmeep

Watch out for that trashcan behind you! 

(Quick and friendly as if you’re saying “I’ve got your back.”) 

MEEP MEEP!

You’re about to back into me! 

Peep

Excuse me. Can I get by? 

(This one you try and lightly tap so it sounds a little more polite.) 

Beep

Whoa there! 

BEEP

GO! 

BEEEEEP!

COME ON! IT'S GREEN!

Beep Beep

Pay attention, Buddy! 

Beep! Beep!

Loved that show!

HONNNK

&@#% you!

HONNNK!

&@#% you, too!

HONK! ... HOOONNK! ... HHHOOOONNNNNNNNNK!

What the hell are you doing? ... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! ... WHATAREYOUDOING?! 

(This honk has so much frustration, you physically brace yourself in your seat as you lay on the horn. This honk is also accompanied by the white-knuckled death grip on the steering wheel, and maybe a little shaking depending on the severity of the situation.)

As seen in the opening scene of Office Space

BEEP! BEEPBEEPBEEEPBE-BEEEEEEPBEEPBEEP! HONNNNNNKHONK!HONK!HONK!HONK!

HONNNNNNNNNNK! 

WE WON! LET’S PARTY! 

(Yes, that’s “We are the Champions” you hear playing in the background.)

BEE-BEE-BEE-BEEP, BEE- BEEP, BEE-BEEP

Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck! 

WHOOP !

(Then there’s the Hullabaloo Fail that ends up sounding more like the aforementioned general celebratory honk. And yes, there’s a difference.)

HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!

HELLOOOOOOO. You’re starting to veer into my LAAaaaaanne! No really, I just clenched my cheeks like Nacho Libre, my passenger just grabbed the “oh S*#@” bar and OHMYGOSHWE’REGONNADIIIIIIE!

And just in case you needed one more visual to solidify that last translation, I'll leave you with this.

Nacho Libre - Recreation Clothes
Tags: Nacho Libre - Recreation Clothes

P.T.

This clip prompts the Nacho Libre effect. It gets me every time.

Sources:

* Thanks for your input, dear sweet Rabecki with an 'i'! 

Barbie and Teresa

Beaker

Roadrunner

Samir from Office Space

THE BEST SCHOOL ON EARTH

Nacho Libre

Granny Driver

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PARTY DANCE!!!!

The Man continues to surprise me!

I had to answer the phone just as he was walking in. We made eye contact, he saw that I was on the phone, we smiled, he waved, and quietly said hello as to not interrupt!

By George, I think I've made it on The Man's list of approved people to acknowledge and speak to.


The Man has been quite chipper lately ... I'm starting to get nervous.


P.T. to Elle,
I hope you have a safe flight to D.C. and have a great time visiting The G Dub! "Whoop!/By George!" for grad school! Start taking notes of all the other future museumians. Also, Hector says hello and wants pictures of the hippos.

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P.T. to 'Thanks and Gig'em!'

P.T.
Even The Man commented on what a great game they Lady Ags played last night. Yes that's right, more words.


Randomly yours,
Marcy "Starting-to-have-brief-conversations-with-The-Man" Magoo

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Thanks and Gig'em!

I'll leave you with this:

Texas A&M Women's Basketball 2011 NCAA Champs

Photo courtesy of AP

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Confessions of a Texan

Source: http://www.huckleberryprairie.com/blog/chappell-hill-tx-scarecrow-festival/ 

I have a confession to make - 

I've spent the last almost 23 years of my life thinking it was illegal to pick bluebonnets. Every year, I anticipate that flip of the switch where the shoulders of our highways and grassy green hill country turn into a deep blue ocean of waves. Never once did I worry that someone would dare to pluck a bluebonnet from Texas soil....until yesterday.

We had a few visitors from our other offices this week. One Cooky Bird from another office in the great state of Texas decided to pull over on her way down to H-town to do the dirty. No, not that dirty (get your minds out of the gutter)...but she picked bluebonnets! I repeat, she picked BLUEBONNETS! As I passed the visitor office she was using for her stay, out of the corner of my eye I noticed them on the edge of her desk and gasped (quite loudly, I'm sure). I walked back up to my desk appalled that a Texan would do such a thing. Risk getting a fine just to bring a few bluebonnets that you picked up on the side of the road to the office with a view? Wow. So I immediately messaged a co-worker to A) tell her about how odd I thought it was that she randomly picked fresh flowers to bring to the office and stick in a vase, and B) that I was pretty sure it's illegal in the state of Texas to pick bluebonnets.

This is when I learned that B is false. FALSE?!!! How could it be? Well, my friends, there is actually no law that proves B to be true. Wait, what? Is this like the laws we learned as kids? Don't run with scissors in your hands; you'll cut yourself. Don't pick up tails-up pennies from the ground; they're unlucky. Don't go outside barefoot; you'll catch a cold. Don't sit too close to the TV; you'll go blind. Don't make that face, it'll get stuck. Don't, don't, don't.

Ok, so it may not be illegal, but I'm 99.9 percent sure it's bad joo-joo. And I'm 2010 percent* sure that it's especially bad joo-joo when you not only pick bluebonnets, but haphazardly shove them into a drinking glass after a 4 hour drive, and then before you leave, "share" them in the lunch room for every one else's viewing pleasure. See Exhibit A.

Exhibit A


Don't mess with Texas.

Thanks and Gig'em!

I'm Marcy Magoo, and I approve this message.

*whoop!

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