While shampooing my hair post cardio work-out (shout out to 24hr Fitness!), I started lining up all the bottles from left to right in order of use. OCD? Maybe. I call it being efficient. I take long showers as it is, so I like to save time where I can. In the process of rearranging my face wash, shampoo and conditioner, I happened to notice the following note on the back of my face wash:
"Do not use Clearasil Daily Face Wash on infants under 6 months of age." Soooo.... are you telling me your eight pound, six ounce infant, who is just lyin' there, looking at his Baby Einstein development videos, learnin' about shapes and colors, who can't even talk yet (I think it's time to watch some Talladega Nights again), has baby acne? What numnut called in that question? "Yes, hello. My 4 month old baby has an oily t-zone, enlarged pores and a few embarrassing blemishes. The other babies at Mother's Day Out call him Pizza Face. He's also got a mild case of diaper rash. Can I just pop him an Accutane and bathe him in Noxzema?" (thanks, Rebecca) Hmm...I think I may have to give some of these customer service numbers a call to figure out who actually asked what question to force companies to print such warning labels on their products. This will be entertaining. Ok, back to organizing....left to right. Why do we start everything left to right just because we read left to right? Why do the Japanese read top-down from right to left? Any connection to the reason toilets flush backwards on the other side of the world? No...that's the Coriolis Effect. Ok, well the British still read left to right...but they drive on the opposite/wrong side. British accents are kind of funny...even a mad British accent still sounds funny- "Pish posh, poppycock!" They
probably DEFINITELY think Texans sound funny, but then again so does everyone else outside of Texas. How do British people sound American when they sing? What if we Americans sounded British when we sing?....or Russian? Dah.
Confused yet?
After my shower, I'm getting ready to crawl into bed and crash for the night. Shuffling down the hall, my sore muscles reminded me I needed a little IcyHot therapy. The last time I used IcyHot was after an intense training session with a personal trainer and I couldn't move. So I applied the IcyHot to my quads/hams and arms. Enter sensory conundrum. Different parts of my legs and arms were Icy and Hot at different times and I could not tell which was which. (Mmm, WhichWich's sammies are good.) So, last night, I thought I'd try to outsmart the IcyHot by timing when I applied it to my legs, back and arms. Wait for the Icy to turn Hot, wait a tick-tock or two, then GO! I failed miserably. IcyHot tag-teamed the hell out of my muscles, and again, I could not tell Icy from Hot. I eventually stopped trying to figure it out and let it do its magic. Not only did my muscles hurt, but so did my brain.
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