If Laundry Had Feelings

What if laundry had feelings? Do you think some articles of clothing would get jealous? Take socks, for example. I would imagine that if laundry had feelings, socks would be jealous of underwear. Even on their best day, after a good run through a hot spin cycle/tumble dry combo, a pair of socks still looks dirty and worn. They have to spend all day hiding inside dark and smelly tennis shoes on sweaty feet. They keep your toes warm in the winter. And then, the evil dryer gnome breaks hearts by kidnapping a sock's significant other. Underwear, *dramatic pause* on the other hand,  receives special treatment- at least ladies underwear does. Underwear earns top billing in the top dresser drawer. They get the celebrity spa treatment on delicate cycle and are often line-dried. Underwear belongs to an elite multi-billion dollar industry modeled by world-famous super models. So many different styles- some even diamond encrusted. Underwear leaves a legacy. You know who models socks? A mannequin. Sometimes not even a full mannequin....just a nub of a leg from the mid-calf down. I'm fairly certain, if laundry had feelings, socks would be jealous.

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