I had an epiphany the other day during my commute to work amongst my fellow oh-so-pleasant Houston motorists. Every honk has a meaning. Some are very direct and to the point with universal meanings, others have a loose translation that is highly dependent on the situation. Have you ever been stuck behind someone who could move up juuuust a smidge so you can proceed with your right-on-red or your U-turn? I have, and that's why I decided to be polite to the person behind me, who actually had their blinker on, so they could inch by me into the turn lane. But as I inched forward, their blinker quickly disappeared from my rear-view mirror and reappeared into my side-view mirror as half of their car hugged my bumper, and the other half occupied the turn lane. But short of love tapping the person in front of me, I couldn't move up any further. Did you know this crazy person had the nerve to honk at me?! "Hey! Move up!" ... So of course I honked back ... "Dude! What do you think I've been doing for the past ten seconds? Hellooooo, can't you see I'm practically touching the car in front of me? Pipe down back there! Rude." (Yep, my one honk said all that.) This of course made me think of all the different things a honk can say. I took the liberty of interpreting some common honks for you, and for my visual learners I've included a few pictures and a short clip. Let's begin.
Meep*
Mornin’!
Meep Meep
Hey, neighbor! Look, I’m waving at you.
Like Barbie and Teresa.
Meep*
Go ahead.
Meep*
Still here.
Meep Meep
That's what Beaker said.
Meepmeep
Watch out for that trashcan behind you!
(Quick and friendly as if you’re saying “I’ve got your back.”)
MEEP MEEP!
You’re about to back into me!
Peep
Excuse me. Can I get by?
(This one you try and lightly tap so it sounds a little more polite.)
Beep
Whoa there!
BEEP
GO!
BEEEEEP!
COME ON! IT'S GREEN!
Beep Beep
Pay attention, Buddy!
Beep! Beep!
Loved that show!
HONNNK
&@#% you!
HONNNK!
&@#% you, too!
HONK! ... HOOONNK! ... HHHOOOONNNNNNNNNK!
What the hell are you doing? ... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! ... WHATAREYOUDOING?!
(This honk has so much frustration, you physically brace yourself in your seat as you lay on the horn. This honk is also accompanied by the white-knuckled death grip on the steering wheel, and maybe a little shaking depending on the severity of the situation.)
As seen in the opening scene of Office Space
BEEP! BEEPBEEPBEEEPBE-BEEEEEEPBEEPBEEP! HONNNNNNKHONK!HONK!HONK!HONK!
HONNNNNNNNNNK!
WE WON! LET’S PARTY!
(Yes, that’s “We are the Champions” you hear playing in the background.)
BEE-BEE-BEE-BEEP, BEE- BEEP, BEE-BEEP
Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck!
WHOOP !
(Then there’s the Hullabaloo Fail that ends up sounding more like the aforementioned general celebratory honk. And yes, there’s a difference.)
HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!
HELLOOOOOOO. You’re starting to veer into my LAAaaaaanne! No really, I just clenched my cheeks like Nacho Libre, my passenger just grabbed the “oh S*#@” bar and OHMYGOSHWE’REGONNADIIIIIIE!
And just in case you needed one more visual to solidify that last translation, I'll leave you with this.
Nacho Libre - Recreation Clothes
Tags: Nacho Libre - Recreation Clothes
Tags: Nacho Libre - Recreation Clothes
This clip prompts the Nacho Libre effect. It gets me every time.
Sources:
* Thanks for your input, dear sweet Rabecki with an 'i'!
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